Hah. Looks like going out in public wasn't all that bad. Met a nice little medic who healed me right up.

Iruka-san, hope you're ready.

Haven't felt like typing much lately. The minor wounds that I have are more or less gone, but it's this gash in my shoulder that's still bugging me. Hence why typing is too much of a hassle to attempt.

At least I'm not so much confined to my room anymore. Which wouldn't be so bad if I could MOVE AROUND ENOUGH TO TRAIN OR FIGHT.

I'm about to just say screw it and go pick a fight. I shouldn't be exerting my energy but I need to. Kakuzu can just sew me up again, right?

Another day, another thought. My journal posts have become rather rambly, as of late, it seems. But it helps get them out of my head for a while at least.

On to the thought - weakness. Weaknesses are the major chink in the armor of any shinobi, even to those who claim to have none; often that pride is their weakness. It stands to reason though that weaknesses can always be overcome, just by thinking it over, in fact, and this is what I find so odd:

How does that work? Convincing yourself that you can overcome such a thing, on a normal basis it seems so easy but when it really counts do you have time to think yourself out of it? For those who don't understand, let me put it this way - it's like a situation when one is training, has been training for a few hours, let's say, and their muscles ache and they can't even concentrate right anymore, out of breath and all; yet they just keep going. Even in more serious situations, like on missions, or in battle, they fight, and keep fighting, keep going.

And then there are mental weaknesses, scarred pasts that others can just bite into and cause the victim to writhe in agony over. So why can't people just think over those as well, as they do in a physical sense? It ties into my earlier rambly post about why people indulge in revenge and obssession and whatever else was on that list, I suppose, but that's the main question. Are they so different? Does it just depend on the person?

Curious.

One more thing - this type of journal post? Is what happens when I'm left to do nothing but heal in my room for an undetermined number of hours. This is beyond boredom. Scary, huh?

[Private, hackable]

I love violence.

I love fighting.

I HATE healing from the wounds I've recieved after fighting violently. The bandages always itch something fierce but I can't scratch at it or else I may open a wound back up. Like this damn gash in my shoulder.

But I suppose I'm to blame for not guarding myself better.

[Private, UNhackable.]

Dammit, all, I've done it again! Went and lost myself to that....animal...

Damn, but it...that mist he used just sent me back. I could've sworn that I was back fighting alongside Zabuza and Raiga and the others again. And it seemed like...just like a dream. But you know how realistic dreams are. You know that they can't be real, but when you're in them you know that they are - the smells, sounds, sights, tastes, and feelings in them are made real in that moment.

...not like it helped me out anyway. All I ended up doing there, I found, was getting slashed up and stabbed before getting caught - in Itachi's jutsu. I couldn't even enjoy the damn fight properly.

...I need more self-control.

</private]

Is it just me, or do the people that look normal seem more insane than us freaks?

Angst.
Suicidal tendencies.
Melodrama.
Over-possessiveness.
Vanity.
Obsession.
NEED for Revenge.
Insane rage.


...okay, maybe obsession I can understand a tad. It happens to the best of us. It's just so odd how people seem to work. My "insane qualities" stem from my love of battle: sadism, bloodlust, etc, etc...

...but I guess it's other people who seem to spring alive these qualities in people. Since I'm not in any sort of relationship except for having a partner in Akatsuki, I don't have to deal with the things that "normal" people deal with, I guess...

Damn, but why does humanity have to be so confusing?

And any of you who choose to comment on this little entry - this isn't directed towards anybody in particular, just people in general.

Huh. It's raining...feels like it's been ages since I last saw a downpour...

I'm heading out for a bit. I'll be back in about an hour...maybe...

Whenever it comes time that "I-have-to-post-in-this-damn-thing-or-else" I can't think of anything to write. Sure, when I'm NOT around a computer and something's actually happening, yeah, have loads of stuff to talk about.

But not when I'm supposed to be able to think of things. How crappy is that?!

There. I call it, "A short rant about writing about not writing." -_-;;; I really need to get out more.

[Private]

Iruka Umino is his name. Finally...I don't know why it's so relevant for me to know. Best to know your enemies, I suppose. But my, he was fierce. And it seems that insted of a victim, I actually have an opponent to fight against. Clearly he has lineage from Mist - no other Village breeds that viciousness. My side still hurts from where I was stabbed...which reminds me...

[/private]

Konan-dono. I think my wounds need to be retreated...

Hidan. Give me back the cloak you stole from me, would you?

[Private to Hidan]

Hidan. Kakuzu says he's busy and can't give you the message himself, but he would like to encourage you to start giving sermons or something in your journal post and charging whoever reads them or comments. 50 - 100 ryo a piece, depending on length of message. And you should also take donations from any generous idiots out there. Then he walked away grumbling something about how you're useless otherwise and need to help Akatsuki profit.

I don't know, that's all he said.

[/private]

When the hell did I start becoming messenger boy again?

01. Full name: Hoshigaki Kisame
02. Best friend: Doesn't really have friends but...Itachi.
03. Sexuality: Straight
04. Favorite color: Crimson
05. Relationship status: Single
06. Ideal mate: One who can look past my oddities and handle my sadisism and need to fight.
07. Turn-ons: I love a beautiul neck.
08. Last sexual experience: ...long, long time ago...
09. Favorite food: Heh, shrimp or crab.
10. Crushes: None, really...
11. Favorite music: Modern rock, songs that are good to fight to.
12. Biggest fear: Not having Samehada during a battle.
13. Biggest fantasy: Ripping people open with my bare hands. Killing that scarred man...
14. Quirks in bed: I'm...eh, quick to please.
15. Bad habits: Getting into fights. Not a bad thing for me, but...
16. Biggest regret: *sigh*...bringing Itachi to Madara-sama.
17. Best kept secrets: I'd be a romantic, if I ever found a woman to put up with me, or ever cared to find one. Shut up.
18. Last thought: My side hurts.
19. Worst sexual/romantic experience: She was drunk. It made me feel disgusting.
20. Biggest insecurity: My skin. It's bluish-gray. Or my eyes...I can't really decide.

Alright, then. Kakuzu, we're fighting. You've three days to decide whether or not you're man enough to come face me. I'll be at the big river just outside of Rain a daybreak. So, what do you say?

Yes, another random post because journal block hates me. Then again, a lot of things do. People mostly. Not my fault they can't kick my ass before I kill them. *sigh* I just want a worthwhile opponent really. Not someone who's gonna take one look at me and run *rolls eyes* stupid normal people. And I still haven't come across the man with the scar across is face again. Heh, that guy hated me. It wasn't a normal, you're an Akatsuki, I'm going to kill you now. He had me up on a pedestal of things he despised more than anything on earth. I feel kind of honored, to tell the truth, but it's really no use if I can't fight him again. Hopefully his pet kitty-cat doesn't interrupt next time, or the other guy who was with him.

I'm going to take a nap now <=_=> reply if you want, I'll get to it eventually...

Yeah, journal block sucks. Will say this; not exactly happy about recieving missions that involve me being messenger/delivery boy. Not that desperate....

....beats doing nothing, I guess...

Guess who has another mission, Hidan? Oh, but I do hope that you aren't too terribly bored. Sitting around the lair. Doing nothing.

Heh.

[/Private to Madara /Private] 
I have reached the temple where the third scroll is. I'll be back by tomorrow, sir.

[/Private to Madara /Private]

I've made it to fire country. Went through first temple, no scroll, few casualties. Did manage to steal priest who may know something about scrolls whereabouts, though. He isn't talking so far, but I'll get to him eventually.

Finally, a mission. I'm off to the Land of Fire for now.

...I'm going for a walk. Not outside, because the Leader might give orders to someone ELSE while I'm away. I'll just get lost in that horrible stone labyrinth of tunnels that this headquarters calls "hallways". If anyone ever finds me again, you better be ready for a fight, because...well...I've been bored before but this is ridiculous.